Valentine's Day

When I think of Valentine's Day, a million memories of my childhood come swarming into my mind. Do you remember those elementary school parties? The night before...getting your Valentines ready... That was fun. Ha! You had to give the right one to the right people, if you accidentally wrote the wrong name on one, it was certain humiliation and death. All you could think about was, "What if he thinks I like him???" Horrifying and embarrassing. You'd have to hide in a hole for the rest of your life. Then there were the boxes you got to make for the valentines you'd receive. I remember one specific year when my mom and I made THE coolest box ever. It was a castle!!! A bright pink castle with sparkles!!! It was made out of a shoe box and four toilet paper rolls covered in pink cardboard and glitter glue. When I walked into my classroom, everyone literally began clapping for me. I felt like a celebrity or something. It was the best feeling ever. And I got first place for having the best box. 
In fifth grade, I was in love, or so I thought, with a boy named Cody. He moved in after Christmas break and we were immediately the best of friends. We sat outside at recess just talking about anything and everything. I could not get over how adorable I thought he was. He and his cousin, Kyle, always made me play games with them and sit with them at lunch. Megan, Britney, and Amelia were there too. One day, about two weeks before Valentine's Day, Megan (the leader of our little clique) pulled Cody aside and asked him how he felt about me. He told her that he liked me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. Then she approached me and asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I said yes and she started to walk away to tell him. Feeling guilty, I called her back to me and told her that I couldn't have a boyfriend until I was sixteen. It pretty much tore me apart, and I went home that night and laid on my bed for hours just crying. But by the next week Megan had ordered Cody to find another girlfriend. He chose Amelia and I pretty much thought I was going to die of heart break. He and I stopped hanging out and talking all the time because he was expected to spend his time with Amelia now, and hanging out with me was cheating! Valentine's Day came around and I stared at them while Cody presented Amelia with a Teddy Bear and chocolate and she gave him candy and a big love letter. Luckily, I had the best cousin EVER (Johanna) who brought me a giant basket full of gifts. I got candy, a pillow, ornament, stuffed animal, bath fizzies, lotion, and a bunch of other stuff. She made my day with it. She's pretty good at that. At the end of the day, gossip spread through our clique that Cody was moving and he hadn't told Amelia and she was devastated about his lies. Everyone was mad at Cody, but he told me it was a lie and that he had told her. He said I was the only one he could talk to and he wished he didn't ask her out. The next week, he was gone, but I dreamed about him and vowed to myself that one day we'd be together. I've given up on that, especially now that I know what he's become over the past eight years. I gotta tell ya, I'm not impressed. 
My awkward stage took over the next five years and I became terrified of boys, so there was never a chance to have an outstanding Valentine's Day. My sophomore year V day was nothing special. I was friends with a boy named Andrew, but he had a girlfriend...Shelby. EWW. She treated him like **** and expected the world from him. They had a cute little lunch together, and then he came to class looking slightly annoyed because she wanted more than just roses, lip suckers, and some cute little bear from him and she made sure he knew. So we skipped class and walked to McDonald's and talked.
 The year after, Jim had just apologized for cheating on me with three other girls and asked for my forgiveness. He also wanted me to be his girl again. I said yes because I was hopelessly in love with him and thought he changed. Then I talked to Linna...his other girlfriend... We broke up a week before Valentine's Day.
A year later, I was a senior... I had just experienced the worst day of my life about a month previous and had sworn off boys forever...or until the next jerk came along. I thought I was in love with a boy named Josh, but he chose another girl over me. So, when Valentine's Day came around, I called up my best friend DeeDee and told her that I thought we needed a girl's night out. She agreed because she and a guy from Moab had broken up and she was in dire need of a night without boys just like I did. We watched chick flicks and ate Taco Bell and chocolate. Could anyone ask for a better friend? I think NOT. 
So this year isn't looking up in the boys area. I doubt that some guy will just come along and ask me out and make me believe that this day isn't just a marketing ploy to get people to buy ridiculously over-priced chocolate and roses that will make them go broke. I, above all things, believe in love, so I know it will happen. I know that man will walk into my life and make me realize why it never worked out with anyone else. But until then, Happy Single's Awareness Day. ;)